Monday, May 22, 2006

18 Years, And I Don't Know What To Do.........

My best little buddy? His Name is Baby Cakes. He's a cat.....and he had a twin brother who passed away 5 years ago. But my little Baby Cakes is having trouble. I know he is getting older. I would gladly give up 5 years of MY life just to have him, and hold him. That's because he's been my best friend for all these years. And I'm crying. I guess I have to push through this so very tough time and do what is best for him. He's sleeping now, with a smile on his face. Maybe that's because we just kissed, even though it's hard for him to make it to the litter box and pee. And I'm so sure that he knows it makes me so sad. My goodness, he's been in my life, just as his brother had, since 1988. Long time? Yes. But I love him so muuch..time doesn't really have any meaning. I mean, I look at his face and give him a nuzzle, just as he gives me nuzzles, and I am heartbroken. But we're still together. And I hope I have the courage to say goodbye. Not yet. I hope. I promise, he'll never suffer. Never anything near. And I'll thank the Big GUY upstairs for so much happiness for so many years. It doesn't make it any easier. He is a huge part of my life. And that will never ever change. I promise.
And this was so tough to write.....
No goodbyes, but I know .....

7 Comments:

At 5/22/2006 2:33 PM, Anonymous Cyn said...

Peter, I feel so sad for you.

I'm a cat person. Three years ago, we lost our 16 year old "Simba" in a house fire (died in her sleep from smoke inhalation)...and last March we lost 19 year old "Chickie"...prior to that, we had two other cats who each lasted close to 18 years...I definitely feel your pain.

You're in my thoughts and prayers, Peter.

 
At 5/22/2006 5:18 PM, Blogger Peter N said...

Thanks Cyn.

 
At 5/22/2006 6:02 PM, Blogger Lynsey said...

Thank you for sharing your story Peter. To experience a loss, no matter if it be the loss of a person or a pet, is so tough. I wouldn't know what to do if something happened to my Spike. He's pretty much our entire world. Animals are the most loyal creatures on the planet.

Give Baby Cakes a big kiss for all of us.

 
At 5/23/2006 6:41 AM, Blogger Peter N said...

Thanks Lynsey. And Cyn. You both are great. I guess we'll be taking more trips to the litter box, especially one in the middle of the night. We'll take it day by day. He's fine in every other respect. A little greyer, a little slower, but he's my boy! I love him.

 
At 5/23/2006 11:23 AM, Blogger Jess said...

I'm sorry, Peter.
I know how hard it is when the kids get old.
Took me forever to get over my baby pooch aging and passing.
My thoughts are with you and your baby cakes.

 
At 5/24/2006 5:23 AM, Blogger Neasa said...

Oh Peter, I'm so sorry you're hurting. I experienced the same with my boy-cat & know exactly how you feel. I raised him from a 3 week-old orphan kitten & he died in my arms at 16 years old.

I think you're doing everything just fine; loving him, being with him, letting him be with you. I know this is a horrendous thing to go through with a beloved someone who's dying (whether 2 or 4-legged), but in a weird way, it's also a very sacred time. How comforted he must feel to know you're near. Feel free to e-mail me if you need to vent. I'll be keeping both of you in my prayers.

 
At 5/24/2006 10:36 AM, Blogger Peter N said...

Jess and Neasa, you are so sweet, and thank you for your kind words. BC is doing great, always hungry, peeing and pooping (in the right place!) and dispensing love like it grows on trees. But it grows in his little heart. And that touches me deeply. And so do you. Again, thanks. This is what makes writing a blog all worth it.

 

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